Hidden Care

I have been living with my uncle and family in Chennai for the past several months . My grandmom ,whom I called 'Achamma' was also there along with us. I am very attached to Achamma as she was one person who has looked after me from childhood. She was my best friend and I have always reached out to her for all emotional support. She has pampered me and as you can imagine whenever I was with her..she looked into my stuff right from when I woke up, whether I had my breakfast to when I went to bed. 'Thayamma" is someone who comes to clean my uncle's  house and help out with other chores. She has been working here for around 18-20 yrs now. She is very close to my cousins Achu and Abi and she took care of all their stuff. She never showered too much attention on me  and that could be because she is not very familiar with my needs or so..Or may be she thought Achamma is already looking into when I ate etc. It went by with the usual hi and byes. My Achamma passed away 11 days back. She had a cardiac arrest and it was a shock for all of us. I still cant believe she isnt there with me..still can feel her presence around. I have been so used to her being there that..somehow I  know no one can fill the void she left behind. Its still has not sunk into me that she is no more. I continue to stay with my uncle as I work in Chennai. But since the past few days I am seeing a difference in Thayamma. She enquires if I had food...whether I need milk....I mean questions she has never asked before to me. I see there is a difference in the way she thinks about me now.Some kind of care thats hidden. Is it because she has accepted me as a member of the family just like Achu and Abi or is it because she knows the person who cared for me the most, is no more and she is trying to help me out by reducing the emptiness in my heart? Whatever the reason, its feels good:)

An Angel who continues to be in my Life.....

When you think of Angels, the image that mostly comes to our head is of a girl-around 14-20 yrs of age in a white frock/gown with wings behind....Now i have a new face for my angel...the face of my Achamma..


When I look back, my first memories of this cute lady is of somebody who had a bunch of stories down her sleeve and who used to patiently feed me by entertaining me with her stories..
The stories ranged from Epics to film stories and also panchathantra....


May be its the calm way with which she dealt things which made me cling to her for all kinds of support. To a great extend she has spoilt me with her unconditional love and care. I mean there has never been a day where I had to give up something for her. It has always been the other way round. She was really unique in her own way. She was from a very traditional family and was the typical house wife in her young days, but the surprising thing is that inspite of all this, She was one of the most broadminded people I had ever come across. So broadminded that I could easily tell her all my secrets without being scared of being judged.

Achamma, patiently tried to cultivate some 'good manners' in me..but I took all those for granted and hardly listened most of the time;).But she never lost hope in me and conitnued to advice me and correct me whenever I was wrong.

Those happy days were not for long. She was soon hospitalized for severe heart ache and breathing problems. I couldnt believe that she was ill as she was pretty healthy and I did speak to her just a few days back. I heard the news when I was in BBSR and immediately started for home. When I reached the hospital, I saw her on the bed and though she couldnt speak, she could hear me. What passed in my mind is how this wonderful lady has made my life beautiful.

After a few days, achamma passed away and it was a shock to all who knew her well. We were deeply affected by the loss. .I miss her constant voice telling me to do this and that. I had promised her that I would defenitely bring to her to US for a few days so that she can see the place. Still I cant believe that she is no longer there with me. She has met Sree once, but i was looking forward to she knowing and loving Sree more, just like she loved me.

May be, she is still there around. The best way I would like to think of her in like the Angel in my life. An angel who still continues to guide me throughout my life......